Poetry and Pirates In My Bed.

A weird milestone of sorts is approaching. That would be my 29th Birthday. Besides the proximity to 30, this birthday is vexing because 29 marks my 10th anniversary of dating. I didn't date in high school, and acquired my first boyfriend at the age of 19.

It's not a milestone really, it's more of a "Crap! I've been at it a long time with no results!" type milestone.

I had a reflective moment this morning thinking about some of the men I've dated over the years. I feel like I've depersonalized many of them to a level where I don't even use their names. There's the guy who cried so much over our break-up, his co-workers brought him cookies and balloons. The guy who loved his computer, and car more than me, the guy who talked of marriage and moving with him to Med school, only to change his mind a week later, married to a girl in my RS two months later. Wish I could forget the guy stuck in the imperial stage of early development. For those of you wondering-most folks outgrow that stage around 9 or 10, and he was 23. What about the handsome photographer who loved photo sessions in his studio, but could never graduate past hand holding. How about those guys you've just barely let into the inner circle of emotion. Those guys who get in that space and destroy it with contradicting actions of care and harm.

Obviously it wasn't all bad. If that was the case I would have stopped dating a long time ago. There was the guy who wrote songs about me, The time I fell for "Submarine races" down at the lake, Every December decorating for Christmas with blue lights, and that one guy with the sexy red corvette.

Pitiful huh? It's sort of a stinky milestone to acknowledge. But just the same, sometimes you have to recognize what got you where you are, before you can change your attitude and plan for a brighter future.