gabungso

Everything at work is falling apart and I'm not to happy about it. I've been miserable all day (except for the two hours I snuck out and got a pedicure) but I want to try and focus on the positives.

I recognize that the main reason this is all hard for me is because I have no real support system in this town. I moved here not knowing a soul and although I have made some friends, they aren't quite ready for a Freyja-sized breakdown. I think people who have seen my breakdowns would agree that such an act in such a small town could produce Godzilla-type destruction. Most of the changes at work are colleagues who are leaving. These are the colleagues that I would say constitute whatever support system I do have, however shaky.

Positives from this week:

I broke down and cried in front of all 11 of my male teenage clients while trying to run a group therapy. The Pro to this is that they will most likely leave me alone for the rest of the week out of fear I might break and quit my job just like everyone else.

While leading a "blind-folded trust walk" today during group one boy fell in the pond and it was really funny.

With all the departures I may get to move across the hall to an office that has a window!

A new therapist we are hiring is named Milton. I haven't worked with a Milton since elementary school when  I had one for a bus driver. He was my favorite.

Out of the blue tonight, the best looking bachelor in town called and said he had a present to give me. I'm very excited about this, because as I mentioned before...he is the best looking man in town.

I've spontaneously decided to take a week off from work in three weeks and when I checked I have over 100 hours of paid time off to use. Killer!

I found out that despite having killed all my previous Zebra Finches off after a handful of months...they can actually have a life-span of up to 12 years. So....Marlon just became my life-partner through all this. I wake up every morning expecting him to be dead...but that was premature since I think he's only about 2yo.

The bishop encouraged me a while back to fellowship/friendship this guy in the ward. He appeared to have hated my attempts. I would say hello at activities, txt to invite him out and call occasionally to see how his day was. Each time he would engage with social skills befitting Napoleon Dynamite and total lack of patience or interest. I would get discouraged and try again later. Well he called on Sunday and apologized for being a jerk-face and we had an ok talk. Although I'm still not happy with the whole scenario...it's had a much better outcome than I expected and he seems really genuinely sorry for mistaking me as a Leper.

Well those are most my positives. I have my health, I have a car that runs, and each month I manage to pay off a little bit on my student loans. Life is good but not perfect and for now...it works for me.

p.s. while writing this a small rubber piece from my laptop got stuck to my face and I just found it on my chin.