Baby Steps

When I hit that wall of being overwhelmed I try to follow the Bob Wiley method of recovery:
1. Slow down and start taking baby steps. (baby steps to the elevator)
2. Visualize taking a vacation from my problems. (You bet I will!)
3. Give up and fake tourette's until I can get myself committed. (crap mouth gutter ball baloney)

Dr. Leo Marvin: Are you married?
Bob Wiley: I'm divorced.
Dr. Leo Marvin: Would you like to talk about that?
Bob Wiley: There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't. My ex-wife loves him.
Dr. Leo Marvin: [pause] I see. So, what you're saying is that even though you are an almost-paralyzed, multiphobic personality who is in a constant state of panic, your wife did not leave you, you left her because she... liked Neil Diamond?

Bob Wiley: What if I'm looking for a bathroom, I can't find one, and my bladder explodes?

[Bob and Siggy are jumping on their beds, faking Tourette's syndrome]
Bob Wiley: Poo-for-brains!
Siggy: Butthead!
Bob Wiley: Dingleberry butt!
Siggy: Snot face!
Bob Wiley: Vulture Vomit!
Siggy: Turkey tits! Belch breath!

Bob Wiley:Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.
Bob Wiley:[to man on bus] Hi. I'm Bob. Would you knock me out, please? Just hit me in the face.
Bob Wiley:I'm Sailing! I'm Sailing!
Bob Wiley:New Hampshire?!?!

For what it's worth (and it ain't much) my life is not as bad as Bob's, and this brings me comfort.