I thought I'd give a personal update since some folks don't actually know what I'm up to these days. I'm starting my third semester at Lewis and Clark for Marriage, couples, and family therapy. I've taken some great classes, theory, practical skills and cultural diversity. This summer I'll be focusing on treatment planning for children and young adults, as well as taking an intensive in Sexual Abuse. My grades have been fine. I've never been much of one to pay attention to grades. If I'm failing I'm usually aware, but other than that I'm clueless.
I got back a few weeks ago from a quick trip to Utah to visit the sisters. Funny enough they were planning a similar trip to Portland, so I only got to see Maranda for a few days and then I took her to the airport. Instead I looked up several old college friends, Maryann, Alicen, and Liahona. It was so good to catch up!! Subsequently I ended up eating out a lot.
I'm still working at the shelter. I love it. The girls keep me on my toes, and I get to use some of my newly acquired listening skills.
I'm really there for the babies!!! They are so cute! Last shift we got to go to the Duck pond. The girls ran around chasing geese, and I rode the merry-go-round. Then we got ice cream.
Other than work and school, I'm currently serving as the Compassionate service leader in my ward, as well as Co-chair of my stakes Regional music conference. I'll also be volunteering at the Portland VA Hospital.
My love life is blah-blah. I wish I had more to share in that department, but I have to say that school, work, and church are really fulfilling. We are a gospel that is deeply focused on marriage. I'm happy about this, except when I feel that interest in me and marriage eclipses other good things I'm doing in my life. I was talking about this the other day with a friend. Being single in LDS culture is difficult. We believe that marriage is requisite for so many blessings in life, including the celestial kingdom, and because of this it carries a strong focus. Although I have nothing against marriage and hope to be there someday, I hope for now my friends and family will support me in the other good things I'm doing with my life.
The friend I was discussing this with made a comment "wouldn't that be an ideal world, where marriage wasn't the only accomplishment. Where other good things could be viewed and appreciated on that same level?" I saw the point but realized that it doesn't matter how the church evolves (I'm talking church culture not doctrine here) at accepting this, if I myself don't view it that way. If I'm going to grad school working on my education, and I don't view that as just as important as being married, then I'm doing this to myself, demeaning my own hard work.
This sort of turned into a tirade, but I've been learning a lot lately about my perspective on marriage and being single. Just for the record-and I may change my opinion later-getting married doesn't seem like that much of an accomplishment. I'll admit a lot of people do have to fight the dragon to make a relationship work in order to get married, but usually it seems my friends meet someone, fall in love, and get proposed to. The hard part is staying married, and making your quick decision a long term decision. Getting married doesn't seem hard in part because all the crap you go thru when you're married hasn't happened yet, and frankly I doubt most couples even consider it. It's not hard because it's fun. You buy a dress, tell all your friends and throw a big party.
That may be unfair, but I'm not impressed with the general process. Don't ask how I would change it...I'm just saying.
Long story short-no I'm not dating anyone right now-and that's really neither here nor there in my opinion.
2 comments:
I agree with you that the "getting married" part isn't that difficult. It is the marriage aspect that is harder, and there are a lot of people who simply don't want to put in the effort of making it succeed.
That's part of the reason I'm going into marriage counseling.
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